Sonic: Lots of Madness
by Mr. BuSa xD '94
Summary: Same classic thing, Sonic, his friends, a house. But this fanfic is different! lol. Read it if you want, is your choice... NO, IT'S NOT! READ IT! No seriously. Or I'll have Shadow up on you with an AK 47. This comic should be rated R, for Ridiculous.
1. Mi casa, Su casa

Sonic: Lots of Madness!!!

Author's Note:

I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog, SEGA does, so with you don't like the character: first, WTF are you doing here then? Second, WHAT?! You don't like him?! And third, complain with SEGA, not me, or go do terapy. Have a nice day!

Author's Note II:

If you don't like those fanfics were Sonic has a house and his friends move to his house, GO FIND ANOTHER FANFIC! (in big letters so no one can complain that they didn't saw it.)

CHAPTER#1: Mi casa, su casa.

It's 14:00. Sonic is sleeping (that lazy bastard!) when a knock in the door wakes him up.

"Huh? yawn Who the fuck can it be?" He says as he walks to the door to open it.

Stopped on front of the door is a salesman, actually, a salesdog.

"Hello, my good sir. Would you like some panflets from the new CD shop that opened in the city?"

"Why would I want to buy it and why the crap are you even selling it?"

"Well, you see, selling is almost the same as giving them around by random people, but if I sell them, I will at least earn some money, ya know?"

"Oh, what?! Ah, go to hell, bitch!"

"Well, since I'm male, I am actually a dog, but..." BLAM! Sonic closes the door on the salesdog's face.

"Oh, bother." Thinks the dog. "Guess I will need to it cockroach soup at dinner again. Hmpf, babe will be so on my neck when I get back home with no greens. Well..."

Inside the house, Sonic sits on the couch and thinks. "Meh, since there's nothing to do I think I'm gonna watch TV."

Then, watching TV, he starts thinking.

"Man, why Tails didn't waked me up? Wait a sec... Tails didn't came back home since yesterday by 18:00! There's something odd... Ooo! South Park!"

After some minutes, the phone starts to ring.

"Damm! Who is the asshole that calls me when I'm watching South Park?! Hello?"

"Uhn, hi, Sonic, is Shadow."

"Hm, Shadow. What the tuck do you want?"

"Uh, well, you see, I'm having problems with my Chaos Blast and..."

"Does it smells?" Says Sonic, with second intentions.

"Er, no, it... Hey! It's not that kinda Chaos Blast! It's the one that uses Chaos Emeralds!!!"

"Oh, heh, heh! Heh, alright then, huh..."

"Argh! So, anyway, I ended up blasting my house and I was thinking if I..."

Right then, Sonic looks to television.

"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!"

"YOU BASTARDS!"

Sonic starts laughing his ass off.

"Uhn, Sonic? Are you alright? Man, why are you laughing like that?"

"Oh, hoh, hoh, hoh!!! Its, hah,haha!!! It's South Park, man! Hah, hah, hah,hah!!"

"WHAT?! South Park is on?! Man, I've gotta see this! Oh, damm, I've forgotten that I've exploded my televison."

"Oh, well. What was you saying 'bout house exploding and thinking?"

"Oh, yeah, I was thinking if I couldn't live there 'til the reform of my house is finished."

"Hmm, well, I don't see why not. Yeah, you can co... SWEET MOTHER OF TESTICLES!!!! HAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! WTF, MAN!!!! THAT CARTMAN IS SO FUNNY!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"Uhn, well, alright them. I'll be there soon. Bye."

"HAHAHAH!!!! Bye! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Sonic's belly do a high noise, he stops and thinks.

"I need food fo'living, mah man!"

He walks to the kitchen and pulls out an chocolate ice cream box from the freezer, takes the milk from the refrigerator and get some sprinkles in the cupboard, put them all on the table and grab a cup.

"Hm, here." He puts two balls of ice cream in the cup. "And here." He puts milk over them. "Aaaand... here." He puts sprinkles on them as the final touch. He spins the chocolate ice cream balls with a spoon 'til them melt so it turns into a milkshake.

"Yep. Done."

Another knock in the door.

"Well, its maybe Tails or Shadow. If it is another salesman, rrrgh, I'll kill him!"

Sonic opens the door.

"Uhn, Hi, Sonic."

"Eh, hi, Shadow."

"Oooo, cool milkshake! Gimme that, or make one for me!"

"Why should I?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE A FRIGGIN' GUN!!!!! AND I'LL MAKE YOU SEE IT' S EASY TO THINK WITH A BULLET IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR BRAINS!!!!"

"Shadow, I just have one brain..."

"WHATEVER!!!!"

"Phew, I didn't think that you were in that time of the month... heh, heh!!"

"I'M GONNA FREAKING KILL YA, BLUE BITCH!!!!"

DING-DONG!

"Alright, I'm going!"

Sonic opens the door and standing there is the mailman.

"Hi, um, Sonic teh Hedgehog?"

"In flesh and spines."

"Here, this package is for you."

"Wow, thanks."

"It was not from me, you know? I'm just delivering it."

"Oh."

"So bye."

"Psst, whateva!"

BLAM! Sonic closes the door.

"What do you got there?" Shadow asks.

"Oh, it's my Playboys. I have a signature."

"OH REALLY?!"

"Yeah."

"I WANNA FREAKING SEE IT!"

"Hey, calm down man! Me first."

Shadow pulls a gun out of nowhere.

"DAMM IT! I didn't thought you actually had a gun with you!"

"Psst. Now gimme the Playboys nice and calm."

"Dammit!"

"Wow, check out this blondie in the cover!!!" Shadow then closes his eyes and sighs. "Maria..."

"Damm it, Shadow, why are you so freaking emo?"

"I still have that gun in my hand!"

"Whoops! Sorry!"

"Don't worry. I won't shoot you. I don't want to go to jail again." And then he says in a low voice. "Those damm niggas, my ass still hurts."

Sonic looks at him with big eyes and scoops away.

"What?" Asks Shadow.

* * *

Hahahahaha!!! It's kinda funny! I don't have nothing to do against black people (or niggas, as Shadow says), but is that theres this thing that says that they have big... weapons (I don't know if they say things like that in USA, but here in Brazil...) and me and my friend joked that Maria got traumatizated because Shadow has a big weapon. So I thought:"What if I make Shadow a victim of the big weapons?" That's how the idea came.

Anyway, next chapter will have the return of Tails, and the appearance of Rouge!!! º.º

And she's going to take a bath!!!! Damm it, why words are not pictures...

Bye for now!


	2. A Secret Mission

Sonic: Lots of Madness!!!

CHAPTER#2: A "Secret" Mission

Shadow is now on the bathroom. Sonic is knocking on the bathroom's door, mad.

"C'mon, Shad! You cannot just lock yourself in the bathroom with this month's Playboy! I've cleaned the bathroom today, for crying out loud!"

Shadow opens the door and exits the bathroom.

"Well, Sonic, it seems you'll need to clean it again. Heh,heh!"

Sonic takes a look at the bathroom.

"Oh, Chaos Dammit, Shadow!"

"Huh, huh!"

"Argh, well, I'll leave that to Tails. Right now makes exacts 24 hours since he went on a party."

"Woohoo, the party must be...cool!"

"Meh, whatsoever. Let's watch TV, shall we?"

"Alrighty!"

Sonic turns the TV on, INSANE VIDEOS OF UNKNOW PEOPLE!!! is on (This is not an actual show).

"Ooo, I like that show!" Says Sonic.

"Meh, I already saw it once. Can't complain."

"Oh, look!!! Funny videos!"

"This has gotta be funny!"

On TV, the video shows a boy with a skateboard. The boy gets ready to go down a hill.

"Today, I'm going downhill!"

"Go already, fuckface! The battery of this damm camera is really low!"

"Oh, shut ya mouth already! Anyways..."

The guy with the camera reaches the boy with the skate and pushes him down the hill.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The boy reaches the end of the hill, the skate flies away straight ahead and the boy falls butt first on the floor. He turns to the guy with the camera, lifts his fist and yells.

"You Son of A Bitch!!!!!!"

Sonic and Shadow are laughing their respective asses off on the couch.

"Hahahahahahaha!!!!! That was sooo funny!" Says Sonic.

"Goddammit! What the Fuck!!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!" Says Shadow.

"That was friggin' sweet!"

"Talk about it!"

"Hey there's another one!"

"Let's watch it."

Rouge's house, same time as it is on Sonic's house, so about 16:00 or so. Rouge is laid on the bed as she hears the noise of a message being received by her laptop.

"Who the yuck could it be?" Thinks Rouge as she goes take the message.

The message goes like this...

"Dear Rouge,

We need you to keep an eye at The Ultimate Life Form. He's been acting strange lately, wiith some burts of insanity, we're thinking he've gone crazy, or maybe is just pot. Anyways, send us a message back if you accept the mission, alright?

Sincerly yours,

G.U.N Secret Agents Department Chief, Houda Foq

04/04/2007"

"Well, well. A mission, huh? 'The Ultimate Life Form'? Damm, he has a name, ya know?"

Rouge thinks a little and them...

"Anyways, yeah, I will accept it. Better send a message back. Them I'll have a reason to be close to Shadow and I'll be able to try to bust a move at him. Heh heh."

She sends the message and goes to the bathroom to take a bath (OMFG! \o/). As she's in the shower, she thinks.

"This is going to be funny..."

* * *

OMFG!!!!!! Rouge taking a bath!!!!!!!! Wheeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! collapses and falls from the chair

But anyway, I'm planning to make Tails finally getting back home after a 24-hours Party in the next chapter. I couldn't fit it on this chapter.

Rouge will discover that Shadow is living with Sonic and then the mess will be ready!!

KEEP READING IT AND REVIEW IT!!!!


	3. Tails doesn't know danger

Sonic Lots of Madness!!!!

Chapter # 3:

Tails doesn't know danger

It's around 18:00 (damm, three fanfics passing in the same day!), Shadow is laying in a couch as Sonic lays in the other. They're are playing the most lame game in the whole friggin' world!!!!

"I see, with my eyes, something black and red!" Says Sonic.

"Stop looking at me, Sonic!"

"Alright..."

"Hey, Sonic...How about we jump out of these couchs and do something, huh?"

"Like calling Amy and Rouge for some wild sex?!"

"No! Not that...Well, not yet...But anyway, like, do some sports..."

"Well, there's a skate park ten blocks from here and a basketball court just two blocks from here."

"Meh...Do you have a basketball?"

"I do, actually..."

"Let's go play then!!!"

18:30, Shadow and Sonic come back from the basketball court. They enter the house just to find Tails laying in the couch...

"Oh.Em.Eff.Gee. TAILS!!!" Yells Sonic.

"Oh, yeah? What the fuck?" Answers Tails.

"WHERE THE HECK WERE YOU?!"

"Huh? Wait, let me process this question and try to find an answer...Oh, yeah! In a party!"

"You've gone to that party yesterday..."

"I know, huh? Helluva party..."

"Yeah, whatever...Just...Clean the bathroom for me..."

"What? No, I'm not drunk so I didn't vomited!"

"Who's talking about that? I'm talking 'bout what Shadow did! Oh, and by the way, Shadow is living with us now."

"What?! Since when?!"

"Shadow?"

"Uh..Well..." Says Shadow while thinking. "Since around 14 o'clock..I think..."

"Meh..Whatever..." Says Tails. "What is wrong with the bathroom anyways?"

"Go see it by yourself." Says Sonic as he smiles to Shadow.

Tails go there and...

"HOLY GUACAMOLE!!!!! DAMM SHADOW!!!!"

"WHA-HA-HA-HA!!!!" Shadow and Sonic start laughing. A knock is heard on the door.

"Who the fuck could it be? I hope it's not the owner of that bike that we stoled over the basketball courtyard..." Says Sonic, going to the door.

He opens the door and sees Rouge there, with a luggage.

"Uh, hi, Sonic... I needed a place to stay so I knew that you were holding Shadow here so, like...Could I live here? I can pay handsomly..." Says Rouge, with a hand on Sonic's cheek.

"With...sex?" Asks Sonic.

"No, asshole. With money!" Says Rouge, kicking Sonic square in the nuts.

"Ow..." Says Shadow, seeing the scene.

"So, Shadow..." Says Rouge as she moves toward him and he, in a quick movement, put his hand in front of his nuts. "Oh, don't worry...I won't kick you...As long as you keep your perverted thoughts to you..."

"Y-Yes, ma'am!" Says Shadow. As Rouge walks away, he looks to her ass and think. "Damm, she's hot!"

"And as for you!" Says her point to Tails.

"What?" Asks Tails.

"You're a damm pervert!"

"You are right with that. Nice rack, by the way." Says Tails as he walks away to get a soda can on the refrigerator.

"WHAT?!" Yells Rouge.

"Shut up, bitch! Don't you know we have neighbors?"

"WHA—Oh, sorry... What?! Who are you calling bitch?!"

"Shadow, duh! Obviously it's you!"

"You want a fresh one on the nuts?!"

"By fresh one you mean a fresh lick?"

"AH! THAT'S IT!!!"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP ALREADY, BIATCH!!!!"

"Oh." Says Sonic in a low voice to Shadow. "That's gonna be hardcore."

"You bet ya ass, Sonic!" Says Shadow as Tails and Rouge faced themselves like two lions ready to fight for food. "That'll be sooooo hardcore."

* * *

There. The mess is up. Tails vs. Rouge, a kitsune that doesn't know danger and a batgirl ready to go whoop-ass style on anyone. You should read next chapter as soon as it's up!

Took me some time to do this but I think it came out good. Anyways, that is all, folks (or in another style: "That's all, bitches!!!"). See ya later! ;D


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